- Uncooked chicken. Tastes just as good as the heated variety but with the added bonus of salmonella and other assorted goodies. Why invest in laxatives when offered this nutritional alternative? Also doubles as an excuse to take a few days off work( as if one is needed!)

- Boycotting Pop Idol/ Fame Academy and other brain numbingly awful programming. Why go out on a Saturday night when you can stay in and subject yourself to third rate wannabes crooning Karaoke abominations. I've seen more talent singing in Hyannis on a Monday night than this years dreadful contestants. Not content with scamming money of impressionable, pubescent females through their poll votes, the PI/FI producers also ruin my life with the continual release of Bee Gee's cover records and taste free merchandise. Having had the misfortune to study with last years Pop idol finalist Darius, I was mortified to also be acquainted with one of this years finalists- Mark Dillon. As if four years at school with Mark wasn't bad enough, I now get to see his ugly mug plastered all over the television and newspapers( he learned to sing in jail by the way). Oh well, I console myself with the fact that after releasing one single they will be ejected onto the Pop Star scrap heap to make way for next years morons. Maybe we'll see them on I'm a celebrity get me out of here in a few years time...

-Freshers week. It's that time of year when those of us old enough to know better get to dust off their matriculation cards and pretend they're still at Uni. For the cynical, exploitative type, Freshers week provides the ultimate opportunity to pull younger, impressionable First years easily impressed by worldly graduates. As a wise man once said: 'I get older but they stay the same age.' This year I decided to give it a miss, but Freshers week will always hold fond memories for me. However, I can't actually remember enjoying it that much when I was actually in First year. Must of had something to do with all those older weirdos hanging around. 'Firs' years this way...'

-Once upon a time in Mexico. Didn't think much of Desperado, but the third in Robert Rodriguez's Mariachi trilogy is an absolute blast. Action packed and hilarious, there are some great performances by Johnny Depp, Cheech Marin and even the charisma free Antonio Banderas. Also, any film that has Enrique Inglesias being shot at is a definite must see...

-Having your own column (no matter how big or small). A column is something that you can treasure and work at over time until it becomes an integral part of you. Actually this section ( for anyone daft enough to read it) is simply an exercise in ego massaging. I finally get to see my name in print, and people can marvel at how I manage to look so cocky and smug in that picture (thanks Pete). Anyway, here goes...

- Weekends in Manchester. Manchester is a City that allows those of us prone to excessive drinking the ability to disguise our affliction. In short, Manchester is an alchoholics wet dream. George Best should renew his legendary drinking sessions there because quite frankly nobody would notice. After returning from a heavy weekend in Deansgate, I'm amazed at the average Mancunians tolerance towards drunken debauchery. In the short space of 48 hours I was actively encouraged to drink myself into a state of memory obliterating inebriation, whilst dancing on tables and acting like a menace to sobriety. However, I soon realised the psychology behind their acceptance of weeknd bingeing... come Sunday nothing's bloody open! Long live Scottish licensing laws.

 Cheers,

D-man